1. Cheerleader (Felix Jaehn Remix) -- OMI [2019]
This was on my 2019 Spotify Wrapped, along with songs like The Git Up, The Hamster Dance, Mi Oh My What a Wonderful Life, and Jackie Chan. 
Surfaces is a band I will NEVER listen to again. It makes me feel physically ill. Early 2020 was peak Surfaces time for me, and Mom overplayed them way too much. I also remember it becoming part of Hype House tiktok, etc. It's very 7th grade, which was clearly a dark time in my life. I feel so much anger and distaste when this is played. I HATE Surfaces.
Tbh this whole album is veryyyy winter of senior year. This was another major driving song for me, and I also distinctly remember always playing this album to tune out Gabby when I was trying to be productive in AP Calc. This album is now associated with my winter lock in, so I can only listen to it in January-March. I feel like my mind was in a good place when I was blasting this album.
This song is PEAK spring of senior year. This song is immediate vibes of ditch day, prom shopping, pony shifts, track practice, graduation, half-marathon training, etc. This was a joyous and wonderful time. I also was very into Pushing It Down and Praying and Soccer Practice. Not sure why I had such a Lizzy phase. Unfortunately now this song is too triggering and I need to give it a few years.
That should say enough. I remember I just had one long playlist in 2019 that I would listen to after gymnastics while doing homework, and it was the only one public on my Spotify. Dad found it, listened to it, and then told me he "didn't really like any of them". Cheerleader is specifically triggering as it used to really strike my heart deep. I know it word for word.
2. Keep It Gold -- Surfaces [early 2020]
Surfaces is a band I will NEVER listen to again. It makes me feel physically ill. Early 2020 was peak Surfaces time for me, and Mom overplayed them way too much. I also remember it becoming part of Hype House tiktok, etc. It's very 7th grade, which was clearly a dark time in my life. I feel so much anger and distaste when this is played. I HATE Surfaces.
3. Rover (feat. DTG) ~ Joel Corry Remix -- S1mba [late 2020, early 2021]
Picture this: It's October 2020. You roll out of bed in an men's XXL Hanes t-shirt and grey Amazon sweatpants that you thought would look like Brandy Melville Rosa Sweatpants (they don't). Your white, old-school laptop is plugged in, because if you unplug it it immediately dies. You turn on your extension that automatically freezes your Google Meet screen, then join your eighth grade English class. Ms. Han is talking about Romeo and Juliet, but you use another Chrome extension to mute the tab, cranking up Lorde's 400 Lux and selecting repeat one. While class is in session, you instead turn your attention to editing videos on Inshot, which will later be uploaded to a shared album under the alias "Jordan Roche". Once class is done, you go downstairs to microwave some couscous, which will be topped with heavy amounts of paprika. You then prepare for your workout, which, lucky for you, consists of the 12 min Happy Sweat Workout by Pamela Reif. After that, you shower, get a rash, and then watch an episode of The Great British Bake-Off with the family.
4. Heart of Glass (Live from the iHeart Festival) -- Miley Cyrus // Sensitive -- Dreamer Isioma [late 2021]
I grouped these together because they both give me the same sick feeling.
I.e.:
- "Outings" to San Pedro
- Watching archived Lily Chee IG lives
- Vlogging your day
- Eva meloche "thrifty" style --> attempting to sew a top
- Minute
- Taking "aesthetic" pictures in the Wittman parking lot
5. As It Was -- Harry Styles [2022]
This song is the vibe of second semester freshman year. I think it is easiest to convey why I hate it is if I paint the picture of my days during spring 2022. This is walking to school in a KN95 and having to sit with Justin and Aurelia until the bell rings. We are talking Japanese 1 with Kimberly Suzuki, sitting in the front right flanked by none other than Cameron and Coleen. It is the exact same table of girls that you have Period 6 Biology with, except there Aileen Perry is always asking you weird questions and trying to get a reaction. In between, you go to Daniel Velez's PE class, where you walk around in circles on the field and fix your claw clip. You wear your brown corduroy pants twice a week. All your jeans are wide leg high rise from Zara. You spend the entire day dreading the time when you are shipped off to Cypress College where Eric Lesser will ask you to do an acrobatic skill you have never tried in your life and you will have to do it regardless because he has issues. Then you will stand waiting for your turn to dive, freezing and wet in the dark for two hours since the sun still sets early and Eric is throwing a fit and refusing to open the hot tub. Plot twist: you actually have a competition next weekend in which you are being told to compete the dive you've done twice in your life and never made! Rian Younger blasts Kanye West over the speaker. You need to go home and do your POGIL.
6. Afraid of Heights -- Boygenius [Fall 2023]
A beautiful song for a terrible time. I will not go into depth here. I played this on repeat while staring out the window on my solo flight to Philly. This was during a time I would go to Holos on the weekends to study for math analysis and tried to manifest an injury/car crash to not go to practice.
7. Texas Hold 'Em -- Beyonce [Spring 2024]
If there was one song that reminds me of junior year spring, it is this one. Junior year was truly the Whitney trenches. I was wildly unstable and unwell during this time period. I was running on no sleep and two coffees. I would go to Smoking Tiger and get a latte (I can now never go to Smoking Tiger ever again). I had motivational songs playing constantly (Moment 4 Life by Nicki Minaj is another trigger), and I would spend physics taking laps with Lily or playing games. I was at a crazy level of burnout. Would be at Tous Les Jours trying to get an A in Math Anal/Calc A. 85% chance the lunch I packed for myself was a toasted tortilla. AP Lang class was a fever dream. In APUSH the New York Times Games would be wide open on my screen. As the weeks passed, things only got worse because then it was time to start working on college applications. Parents were constantly having problems with any ideas about college, and to top it all off I had neurology appointments constantly since my nerve stopped working. Not sure how I ever lived like this. Every day I felt like a lunatic.
8. Talk talk (ft. Troye Sivan) -- Charli XCX [Fall 2024]
Brat summer except it was a Brat fall for me... I actually have positive associations with this song, I just overplayed it to the max. This was the song I would turn on for my drive to school or on the bus to cross country meets. Or when it was 11pm and I still had to write a supplemental essay and study for calculus. This was a fun time, senior year was WORLDS better than junior year. My life was much more in order.
9. 30 for 30 (With Kendrick Lamar) -- SZA [Winter 2025]
Tbh this whole album is veryyyy winter of senior year. This was another major driving song for me, and I also distinctly remember always playing this album to tune out Gabby when I was trying to be productive in AP Calc. This album is now associated with my winter lock in, so I can only listen to it in January-March. I feel like my mind was in a good place when I was blasting this album.
10. Spring Into Summer -- Lizzy McAlpine [Spring/early summer 2025]
This song is PEAK spring of senior year. This song is immediate vibes of ditch day, prom shopping, pony shifts, track practice, graduation, half-marathon training, etc. This was a joyous and wonderful time. I also was very into Pushing It Down and Praying and Soccer Practice. Not sure why I had such a Lizzy phase. Unfortunately now this song is too triggering and I need to give it a few years.
this is just some of the many
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